Here’s a favour to everyone. Watch this trailer and feel like you’ve now seen it without having to endure the entire film. This diaper load from writer-director Kevin Smith might be less offensive than Argo because it doesn’t spoof Canadian heroes, just hosers, but that’s not saying much. Like many films of the deep dark past when white actors played non-white characters, this one pours the American-style beet-sugar, fake maple syrup all over it’s cinematic trojan horse.
Years ago, it was very common for actors like Christopher Lee to play Fu Manchu or Laurence Olivier to play Othello in black-face but there are Canadian actors all over the place! Hollywood is filthy with them, not to mention Canada, where you filmed this. Under closer scrutiny CCT found that not only are the leads not Canadian, there isn’t one Canadian in the cast – not one. What?
The two young stars unknowingly I’m sure, play roles that nod to the historic racism of Hollywood. Kevin Smith’s daughter Harley Quinn Smith is to Yoga Hosers what Mickey Rooney was to Breakfast at Tiffany’s and for Lily-Rose, I’ll dig into the distant familial past to her father Johnny Depp’s horrific portrayal of Lone Ranger’s partner, Tonto. Lily-Rose Depp’s role as a hapless Canadian teen at least hasn’t completely deconstructed a beloved icon.
Come on, Mr. Smith, no one needs your Canadian Trilogy. Canadians are masters of comedy and need to be revered as such. This film is too absurd to explain and a viewing of the trailer should be enough.
Today, our beloved Canadian flag turns 50 years old. It’s modern design and simple colour scheme draws a sense of adoration from the global community, as a symbol of peacefulness and politeness (I might self-righteously say). So how should be celebrate that notable birthday?
Maybe you could just stare lovingly at the red and white and thank it for health-care, peace-keeping and the Underground Railroad.
Maybe you could thank it for the invention of Basketball (Thanks Mr. James Naismith) and Hockey (you heard me!)
Maybe you could watch a Rachel McAdams movie while listening to “Rude” by Magic (’cause it’s just so elfin’ good!)
You could practice drawing it.
Maybe you can read a Roberson Davies or Margaret Atwood book.
Maybe some of you still recovering from a night of romance and debauchery from Valentines Day might want to wrap yourselves in a flag while watching some Battlestar Galactica on DVD…
…Or, maybe you could take a note from one of our fearless leaders, who celebrated this way back in 1996…
CCT0118 – Former Prime Minister Jean Chrétien moves an anti-poverty protester out of his way in Hull, Quebec on Feb. 15, 1996. The Prime Minister’s chokehold became known as the Shawinigan Handshake after his home town. / L’ancien premier ministre Jean Chrétien déplace un protestataire combattant la pauvreté hors de sa voie dans la coque, Québec le 15 février 1996. Le chokehold du premier ministre est devenu notoire comme prise de contact de Shawinigan après sa ville natale.
