With Doug Ford shame looming in the near future, let’s take a moment and remember the funner brother. It will be more likely that Doug will punch a blind woman in the face before smoking crack but hey, never say never! Ontario has a really awkward decision to make: Is it time for the return of the United Farmers of Ontario?
Tag Archives: Rob Ford
How could we not participate in the celebration that is Rob Ford? Click the pic to order it now!
From crack to rocks…
…And let’s keep Santa as far from Mr. Ford as we can.
Hey everyone, here’s the latest from the Canadian Culture Thing postcard line…
Mayor Rob Ford is finding that the top job at city hall isn’t all it’s cracked up to be!
Blurred vision…Everything goes fuzzy…It’s a Rob Ford Flashback!
On February 15th, 1999 Rob Ford was out for a little Valentines Day partying in Miami, Florida. Because Mr. Ford believes that laws are only suggestions, he squeezed in behind the steering wheel. Today, we all know how much Rob Ford likes to multi-task while driving and on this particular occasion he decided to drive while also being completely stoned and drunk. Ford in his reefer madness drew the attention of Miami Police as he drove north on N.E. 3rd Ave without any lights. When a Miami Police officer pulled Ford’s Ford over, Rob appeared nervous stepped out of the vehicle, threw his hands in the air and shouted, “Go ahead, take me to jail!”
Rob Ford became belligerent, taking his money out of his pocket and threw it on the ground. It would seem that Ford was lucky that he didn’t get charged with attempting to bribe a law enforcement officer. As the investigation continued Police say Rob Ford acted nervous and the officer could clearly smell alcohol on his his breath and noted that his eyes were bloodshot. Rob failed his drunk test.
The officer then performed a search and lo and behold, Mr. Ford had himself a fat (as well as flat and whimpering) joint in his back pocket. Rob Ford had his request fulfilled and he was taken to jail.
Flash-forward to the mayoral race of 2010…
Rob dirty little secret found it’s way into the light, as scandalous behaviour on the public record does during an election. During the election Rob Ford held a press conference where he told reporters, “I had completely forgotten about it until you mentioned it right now. You think I’m BS-ing you, but I’m not. It completely, totally slipped my mind.” It seemed like a ridiculous explanation, but remember he was really high and drunk at the time. He added that, “the reason I forgot about the marijuana charge…is because that same evening, I was charged with failing to give a breath sample.” Rob Ford was charged with driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
Ford posted a $1,500 bail and then pleaded no contest. He paid a $664.75 fine, was barred from driving in the State of Florida and was ordered to complete 50 hours of community service which was served by volunteering with the Toronto Express, the private summer football team he had been coaching since 1997 anyway. No one seemed to know anything about the public service including his brother Doug.
Remember kids: This could be you…and then a year and a half later you could be a city councillor.
Flash-forward to 2013…
Whether it’s being charged with assault after a hockey game when he was 18 or being charged with assault and uttering death threats after his wife phoned the police in 2008, being caught on tape urging a sick man to score painkillers on the street, claiming that gays and needle users are likely to get AIDS, that the “Orientals” are “taking over” and that although his heart bleeds when cyclists are killed, that “it’s their own fault at the end of the day” (especially on Jarvis Street, right Mayor Ford?), what a ride it’s been! We must remember how Ford describes himself: “I am not perfect. I have never claimed to be perfect.”
That imperfection is why a claim of Rob Ford being a crack-user is believable. We need our leaders to be held to a high standard, we deserve that. We need leaders who face challenges and strive to overcome them, not be so weak and to show our world-class city to be run by a buffoon like Rob Ford. What does that say about us? It says that we don’t demand a great leader. It says that we’re satisfied with a drunk-driving leader, a cell-phone talking while driving leader, a road-raging while driving leader, a death-threat uttering leader, a homophobic leader, a racist leader, a move-me-to-the-top-of-the-list-and-fix-the-roads-near-my-dad’s-party kind of leader, an anti-cyclist leader a leader who commits conflict of interest and nothing happens to him and a leader who prioritizes a football team he coaches ahead of running the city.
It doesn’t matter if he used, uses or even deals crack. It really doesn’t. We don’t need more to base our decision. What we need, what we deserve is a leader who is sculpted out of bronze instead butter.
Here’s what’s being said about us internationally…
I attended Art in the Park this weekend at Trinity-Bellwoods Park. Our local super-park and one-time home of Trinity College (1851-1925), was overrun by artists and art-lover’s in this annual exhibition and sale.
The sun was shining, children were laughing, lover’s were canoodling (that’s right, canoodling!), I had a bowl of dumplings and it seemed that everything was right with the world. But looking past the veneer of paradise, past the squirrels, black and white, gathering nuts in unity, there was subversion afoot! Not since 2001, when Mel Lastman shook hands with members of the Hell’s Angels Motorcycle Club in an unfortunate photo-opt, has something so scandalous taken place in Toronto politics. Mel Lastman claimed to not know who was shaking his hand, and when told he was shocked to discover that there was a chance that the friendly hand-shaking bikers might be mixed up in illegal shenanigans (that’s right shenanigans – don’t judge me!) like drug-trafficking!
But here in Trinity-Bellwoods Park where I once saw a cat leap from the top of a tree, over the head of a reaching fire-fighter on a ladder-truck, something more shocking and unbelievable had taken place and was now on display.
Kids, cover your eyes…
Allegedly, Rob Ford (Toronto’s temporary mayor) had been seen standing next to Sasquatch on the shores of Toronto Island. Artist Mike Riley had captured the event and was now displaying it for everyone to see.
Rob Ford has been known to be staunchly opposed to Gravy Trains, weekly weigh-ins and so horrified by Gay Pride that he doesn’t even want to be in the city in case he might catch homosexuality, but when graffiti artists began depicting him in an unsavoury light, Big Rob went after them.
Is it possible that now that his impromptu appearance next to Sasquatch Dave is out there for the whole city to ridicule that Rob Ford may go after art in general?
Sasquatch Eddie, who was visiting from the Fraser Valley in B.C. has been facing ridicule amongst his fellow-Sasquatch at home. In a front-page story in the local Sasquatch Valley Recorder, the Sasquatch community is in an uproar about Sasquatch Dave posing alongside Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, claiming it was poor judgement on his part. In an interview with Canadian Culture Thing, Sasquatch Dave claims he was simply making a silly pose for a photo for long-time girlfriend Sasquatch Velma and he “was just as shocked as everyone else that the Toronto Mayor jumped into the frame.”
Sasquatch Dave added that he has been having trouble sleeping ever since and has been having a recurring dream, “I’m in a large pot of boiling water and there a Rob Fords dancing around it and chanting that I have to “volunteer” for his Toronto football team or I can kiss my job goodbye! It’s horrible…just horrible.”
Let me tell you, you haven’t seen sad until you’ve seen a Sasquatch cry.