Donald Trump learned the meaning of the word Strong in True, North, Strong and Free at the hands of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau when they met in Washington yesterday. Donald Trump’s handshake technique, meant to show his dominance by pulling his co-shakee off balance, failed to achieve its goal with our masterful Mr. Trudeau. Trudeau was prepared for this tactic and met the Donald as the master in each of his attempts.
This was good but I think it would have been funnier if the taller Justin had offered a high-five. Donald Trump would have been there, red-faced and jumping with his little hand flailing in the air trying to make contact. Oh, good times.
Here’s a favour to everyone. Watch this trailer and feel like you’ve now seen it without having to endure the entire film. This diaper load from writer-director Kevin Smith might be less offensive than Argo because it doesn’t spoof Canadian heroes, just hosers, but that’s not saying much. Like many films of the deep dark past when white actors played non-white characters, this one pours the American-style beet-sugar, fake maple syrup all over it’s cinematic trojan horse.
Years ago, it was very common for actors like Christopher Lee to play Fu Manchu or Laurence Olivier to play Othello in black-face but there are Canadian actors all over the place! Hollywood is filthy with them, not to mention Canada, where you filmed this. Under closer scrutiny CCT found that not only are the leads not Canadian, there isn’t one Canadian in the cast – not one. What?
The two young stars unknowingly I’m sure, play roles that nod to the historic racism of Hollywood. Kevin Smith’s daughter Harley Quinn Smith is to Yoga Hosers what Mickey Rooney was to Breakfast at Tiffany’s and for Lily-Rose, I’ll dig into the distant familial past to her father Johnny Depp’s horrific portrayal of Lone Ranger’s partner, Tonto. Lily-Rose Depp’s role as a hapless Canadian teen at least hasn’t completely deconstructed a beloved icon.
Come on, Mr. Smith, no one needs your Canadian Trilogy. Canadians are masters of comedy and need to be revered as such. This film is too absurd to explain and a viewing of the trailer should be enough.
Joe Shuster was a Canadian comic book artist who co-created Superman for DC Comics, with writer Jerry Siegel. Superman first appeared in Action Comics #1 in June of 1938 and then made his second appearance in Superman #1.
Think of just how Canadian Superman is.
He immigrated to Earth and was welcomed.
His alter-ego is very polite.
Metropolis is Metropolitan Toronto.
He works at the Daily Planet which is the Daily Star (Today the Toronto Star).
His girlfriend is a Female star reporter which would be far more likely in Canada in the 1930’s who was considerably more progressive.
Also, Superman’s weakness for the Kryptonite is similar to Margaret Trudeau’s weakness for Rolling Stones.
Today, our beloved Canadian flag turns 50 years old. It’s modern design and simple colour scheme draws a sense of adoration from the global community, as a symbol of peacefulness and politeness (I might self-righteously say). So how should be celebrate that notable birthday?
Maybe you could just stare lovingly at the red and white and thank it for health-care, peace-keeping and the Underground Railroad.
Maybe you could thank it for the invention of Basketball (Thanks Mr. James Naismith) and Hockey (you heard me!)
Maybe you could watch a Rachel McAdams movie while listening to “Rude” by Magic (’cause it’s just so elfin’ good!)
You could practice drawing it.
Maybe you can read a Roberson Davies or Margaret Atwood book.
Maybe some of you still recovering from a night of romance and debauchery from Valentines Day might want to wrap yourselves in a flag while watching some Battlestar Galactica on DVD…
…Or, maybe you could take a note from one of our fearless leaders, who celebrated this way back in 1996…