Trudeau was prepared to shake the Trump.

Donald Trump learned the meaning of the word Strong in True, North, Strong and Free at the hands of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau when they met in Washington yesterday. Donald Trump’s handshake technique, meant to show his dominance by pulling his co-shakee off balance, failed to achieve its goal with our masterful Mr. Trudeau. Trudeau was prepared for this tactic and met the Donald as the master in each of hisĀ attempts.

This was good but I think it would have been funnier if the taller Justin had offered a high-five. Donald Trump would have been there, red-faced and jumping with his little hand flailing in the air trying to make contact. Oh, good times.

I hope they don’t declare war on us now.

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A Million Dollars for your thoughts.

This amazing 1 Million Dollar coin, one of 5, is on display at the Royal Ontario Museum. The Royal Canadian Mint produced this 100kg bad boy in Ottawa in 2007, made of 99999 pure gold bullion, to show off a little. After some big-shots came forward wanting one for their vaults, the Mint made 4 more.

In October 2007, the Guinness World Records recognized the Canadian Million Dollar Coin as the largest gold coin.

Artist and senior engraver Stan Witten design the Tail side of the coin featuring some polished maple leafs, of course. The Head side by Canadian portrait artist Susanna Blunt oddly shows an effigy of Stephen Colbert (not Canadian) in drag, I mean Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II (also not Canadian).

 

Not shown is the giant change-purse with a native beaded depiction of the Littlest Hobo in the next room.

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Yoga Hosers: Mr. Smith Goes to Canada.

yogahosers-harleyquinnsmith-lilyrosedepp Here’s a favour to everyone. Watch this trailer and feel like you’ve now seen it without having to endure the entire film. This diaper load from writer-director Kevin Smith might be less offensive than Argo because it doesn’t spoof Canadian heroes, just hosers, but that’s not saying much. Like many films of the deep dark past when white actors played non-white characters, this one pours the American-style beet-sugar, fake maple syrup all over it’s cinematic trojan horse.

Years ago, it was very common for actors like Christopher Lee to play Fu Manchu or Laurence Olivier to play Othello in black-face but there are Canadian actors all over the place! Hollywood is filthy with them, not to mention Canada, where you filmed this. Under closer scrutiny CCT found that not only are the leads not Canadian, there isn’t one Canadian in the cast – not one. What?

cct-mickeyrooneybatThe two young stars unknowingly I’m sure, play roles that nod to the historic racism of Hollywood. Kevin Smith’s daughter Harley Quinn Smith is to Yoga Hosers what Mickey Rooney was to Breakfast at Tiffany’s and for Lily-Rose, I’ll dig into the distant familial past to her father Johnny Depp’s horrific portrayal of Lone Ranger’s partner, Tonto. Lily-Rose Depp’s role as a hapless Canadian teen at least hasn’t completely deconstructed a beloved icon.

the-lone-ranger-johnny-depp-armie-hammerCome on, Mr. Smith, no one needs your Canadian Trilogy. Canadians are masters of comedy and need to be revered as such. This film is too absurd to explain and a viewing of the trailer should be enough.

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